Alternative ways to clean your pooper

I wonder why bidet's are not more prevalent in America?  I have never used one, but apparently these things are the shit in pretty much every other civilized country in the world.  If you are wondering what the hell a bidet is (like I was a while back) it resembles a weird looking water fountain that is right next to the toilet.  Basically, its job is to wash off your dingle-berries and any excess dookie that might be hanging onto your poopchute for dear life.

Like I said earlier, I have never used one but I sure as hell can't wait.  I wonder if the water is warm or cold.  I am pretty sure I don't want cold water shot at my butthole.  Either way it should be quite an experience.